The Honest Matt Perspective

Honest Males,

Congratulations on the resurgence of THMP - new and improved. I read, I like - although I'm a bit confused/saddened by Mr. Dudley's absence - what's up with that? His shit was gold. But you know who else's shit is gold? Yes, you do. Mine. So, I'd like to officially make my case for inclusion on The Honest Male Perspective Staff. And I'll give you 100 reasons.


1. I got an A in Mrs. Whittemore's 8th grade English class. Scott was there, he'll attest.
2. THMP has no long-haired writers.
3. I live in New York and this way we can keep in touch better. (Except Tad, who also lives in New York, who I see at least twice a day).
4. My knowledge of music is unparalleled.
5. Somehow, I actually know some shit about sports, too.
6. I could fill Jim's void.
7. Or my presence could convince him to stay.
8. I'm reaching marginal celebrity status.
9. I have dirt on all of you. Or at least Popkin.
10. Another Sox fan on board to make sure there aren't too many Phillies posts.
11. Ditto, but replace Sox and Phils with Pats and Eagles.
12. I can spell "Mientkiewicz."
13. Shit, we're only at 13 and I'm already running out of reasons.
14. I don't drink coffee, but instead get my caffeine from Jolt energy mints.
15. Other times, Jolt energy gum. That's fairly interesting and unique.
16. I have a solid grasp on the english language.
17. And, if that's not enough, I volunteer myself for writing the first ever THMP posting in Spanish.
18. I am, in fact, an honest male.
19. "Blog" rhymes with "Bog."
20. I used to be the #1 commenter on THMP.
21. Twenty-one...black jack.
22. I can quote Supertroopers like nobody's business.
23. Ditto all Will Ferrel flicks.
24. I once wrote an entire "Monday List of Awesomeness" as a guest-blogger.
25. Has anybody talked to Sam lately? How's he doing?
26. Like all of you, I have a Gmail account.
27. A blogger from Brooklyn will give you instead street-cred.
28. Brooklyn, that is, not the Bronx. No Yanks fans here.
29. Did I mention the long hair thing?
30. Seriously, my head is starting to hurt and we're not even half-way done.
31. I type efficiently.
32. I have an interesting syntax.
33. My schedule allows for blogtime during the "workweek."
34. Occasionally I have something insightful to say...usually involving batting orders or setlists.
35. Alex needs another Jew on board.
36. Although I no longer feel the burning desire, I would happily write a post about wanting to punch a certain fella in the face. Want to punch him in the face.
37. Thirty-seven!
38. The other day I bought, for the first time in my life, a container of Sunny D. As a kid, it always looked like the most fun orange juice ever. Turns out it's not even orange juice. It's orange-flavored fruit punch. Weird.
39. Remember when I used to not drink? That's endearing, I believe.
40. However, those days are over. And if need be, I'll write an entire blog drunk. I'll do it.
41. Last weekend I played drums with a guy who played sax with Dave Matthews.
42. The weekend before that I played "Two Princes"...and it wasn't a cover.
43. We're almost halfway there, and no one's happier about that than me.
44. I like comic books.
45. And movies.
46. Also real books (I know, weird).
47. I enjoy television shows such as Lost, The Office, Scrubs and Weeds.
48. Did I say the thing about the Red Sox?
49. Pats.
50. Ok, I can't really call myself a Celtics fan in the true sense of the word, but I've been to my fair share of games, and I like following them when they're good. So I'm bored by a shitty sports team - sue me. The point is, Kevin Motherfucking Garnett is on our team now and I'm psyched.
51. Seriously. KG. That's crazy.
52. What else....I like Mexican food. Not sure how that's relevant, but I had it for lunch and dinner today, still thinking about how to incorporate one more meal before the night's over.
53. Alex and I had a bet this year...who would have a better WHIP, Wins and Era - I took Tim Wakefield and I honestly can't ever remember who he picked. Steve Trachsel? I'm sure he owes me money for that.
54. Last year it was home runs - Jason Lane (my pick) vs Trot Nixon. Despite spending almost two months demoted to the minors, Lane still one. I wasn't proud, though.
55. Right now I'm listening to the new Collective Soul record for free streaming on their website. They have a new guitarist, and they actually let him sing lead vocals on a track. His voice sounds just like that guy from The Cure. Weird.
56. Thumbknuckle.
57. The Honest Male Perspective. What's honest would be letting me join.
58. Isn't it interesting that I felt the need to write a list of one hundred reasons, when I probably could've just asked real nice and you guys would've said yes?
59. To take that a step further, I probably could've asked obnoxiously and you still would've agreed, but let's not get too cocky here - I'm not in just yet.
60. Alex - there's this other track on the CSoul record, "Good Morning After All" that starts EXACTLY like that Pete Yorn song "Lose You."
61. Also, it's like they combined "Good Night, Good Guy" with "After All"....and that Wallflowers song with "Mourning/Morning" in the title.
62. I can't say we're in the home stretch yet, but I'm feeling like I might actually make it to a hundred. Obviously, the more bullshit "reasons" like this one the easier it'll be.
63. Seriously, this is probably not the best way to be spending my Monday night, but it's fun.
64. Catch a beat runnin' like Randy Moss.
65. It's always all or nothing....
66. Tad - "Don't judge."
67. I actually have some experience blogging on myspace, so I know the ropes.
68. But, just to clarify, that's technically a "Matt Bogdanow Band" blog, so it's not like we'd run into any infringement issues if I joined THMP.
69. What, a 69 joke? Nope, not from me. Unless it'll get me on board. Then I've got plenty.
70. Is this even remotely interesting for you guys to read? I'd almost bet money that 3/4 of you never read this sentence.
71. I'm coming home for Columbus Day. I recommend Popkin does the same.
72. Scott's got a dog with stumpy legs...the least he can do is give me a blog.
73. Seriously, I don't mean to belabor the point, but how come Jim isn't on this anymore?
74. My brother lives in Nate Pagett's old apartment...isn't that weird?
75. When I started this list I had just finished dinner - now I'm hungry again. That's commitment.
76. And it's not like I have nothing better to do. Did I mention I'm in seven bands?
77. One of those bands is played a show Wednesday with the cello player from Modest Mouse. 78. I once killed a hornet with a roll of double-sided tape.
79. Shakedown nineteen79.
80. Speaking of Smashing Pumpkins, I bumped into James Iha on the street last year.
81. That same night I saw David Schwimmer.
82. Other NYC celebrity sightings have included Tara Reid,
83. Piper Perabo,
84. Demetri Martin,
85. One of the dudes from Rockapella,
86. Ethan Hawke
87. (Like three times),
88. Kevin Bacon,
89. Gene Simmons,
90. Kevin Kline,
91. and Tiki Barber, to name a few.
92. Back to Collective Soul - in high school I once (literally) counted the number of times their singer, Mr. Ed Roland said "yeah" and "well" on each song on their first record. Wish I still had that sheet. Did I mention I've met him a couple times?
93. Nineteen93 was the year Zooropa, my favorite album of all time, came out. Also I went to summer camp (sleepaway, for the first time) and bought Street Fighter 2 for Super Nintendo. All in the span of one month - plus a trip to Israel!
94. I'll admit, I currently enjoy Third Eye Blind as much as the next guy. Probably more, depending on who that guy is. But I still can't stand No Doubt. I heard "Don't Speak" on the radio this summer and felt myself start to vomit from boredom.
95. Honestly, I can't even remember what this is a top-100 list of. Reasons for something...
96. Ah, yes. Reasons I should be the new THMP blogger. If you're not convinced now, I better really up the anti with these last few.
97. I really am the most qualified applicant for the job. Am I the only applicant? That's for you to know and me to find out. But I imagine yes, yes I am.
98. ...when you're living, on the outside.
99. It just makes so much sense. In fact, it's a wonder I'm not offended for not having been asked to join your blog years ago. As a matter of fact...
100. I listed a hundred fucking reasons. That's gotta count for something.

(Whew)

-Matt Blogdanow