Fall TV Preview!

"Choose, but choose wisely, for while the true Grail will bring you life, the false Grail will take it from you." - Grail Knight, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade

You remember the diary that Sean Connery kept about the Holy Grail in "Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade", the one Indy had to use to unlock all the mysteries beholden to the quest for the cup of christ?? Well EW's Fall TV Preview is the EXACT same thing for me, sans Nazis.

I should be so lucky to have a thick magazine chock full of TV previews that not only informs, but also arms me with the proper guidance needed. In the undiscovered world of Fall TV, the EW Preview serves as the Sacajawea to my Lewis & Clark.

As it is every Fall, there are gems to be unearthed (Heroes, 30 Rock) and garbage to be recycled (The Nine.) Equipped with notepad, and DVR, and my ad-filled Sacajawea i'm here to give you a few friendly blog-ggestions, molded from clay of my cerabellum, glazed with the precognitive sauce and fired in the kiln of common sense at 700 degrees..... Fahrenheit, son

SET YOUR DVR AS SOON AS YOU FINISH READING:
Kid Nation (CBS) Wed, 8PM - Premieres 9/19 - Reality
On a scale of 1-10, this ranks an astonishing 35 on the "Morbid Curiosity" scale. Kids from age 8-15 whose parents have willingly waivered -away any liability from CBS were dumped in an abandoned town in New Mexico and tasked with CREATING A SOCIETY. This has to pique the interests of even the most Non-Liberalminded. Moral qualms be damned ,this is the most fasciniating premise in reality history! What sort of can of worms would we be opening if this was a huge hit?? Good or bad, this is the next big thing that EVERYONE will be talking about. Dont be one of the people who misses it.

MYINTEREST IS PIQUED:
Journeyman (NBC) Monday, 10 PM - premieres 9/24
This show has a couple things going for it: It involves time-travel, it follows "Heroes" at 10PM and it stars Kevin McKidd, was INCREDIBLE as Lucius Vorenus in the HBO series "ROME." Apparently he got noticed and was given top billing on his own high-concept "Quantum Leap" type show. I dont care if its a rip-off of Quantum Leap, that premise was fucking cool and if they can re-make the Bionic Woman, then we've got no problem here. McKidd really was great on Rome, he was a real badass and also reallly funny. I worryabout three things. 1) Not enough people watched "Rome," 2) people maybe turned off by the whole "time travel" thing. 3) The title is pronounced "Journey-MAN" (like SUPER-MAN) which sounds more like a gay superhero who's power is derived from the vocal stylings of Steve Perry. I have good feelings though. This ones worth a look.

Pushing Daisies (ABC) Wednesday 8PM -premiers 10/3
What attracts me to this show is the original-high-concept feel. It feels a little like a Tim Burton-esque world and is being directed by Barry Sonnennfield of "Men In Black" fame. The keyword here is "quirky." I really dig a cartoony feel and the Private Investigator who can bring the dead back to life and back to death detective storyline appeals my inner-most "WHo Framed Roger Rabbit." Especially the fact that its being billed as a drama.

JUST BECAUSE I CAN:
Cavemen (ABC) Tuesday 8PM -premiers 10/2
Remember when "That 70's Show" became a fairly big hit for FOX, so the TV execs thought they should make "That 80's Show" and it was a complete and utter failure?? Well that right there showed what makes good TV...its the characters. Poeple didnt like That 70's show for the fucking shag carpets. The characters were original and funny. Herein lies the big question with Cavemen....if its gonna be more than a 30 minute geico commercial, as its billed.....its gonna because of the originality of the characters and funny-ness.Theres a chance this could be good, but i have a feeling, the whole "fish out of water" thing could get tiresome...."3rd Rock From The Sun" managed to do pretty well.....i'm TIVOing episode one. but the pilot has to hook me. this show has no room for error.

Back to You (FOX) Wednesday 8PM - premiers 9/19
A little Anchorman, a little Frasier a little Patricia Heaton. This show really reeks of "we are desperate to find a new show and break out from the cloud of our old shows." I really dislike the traditional Sitcom format so i'm PRAYING that this show gives us a little bit more than Anchorman, Frasier and Patricia Heaton. Like funny supporting characters? I dont have alot of hope for this show, but thats why DVR has delete button.

S--- ON A STICK:
Big Shots (ABC)
"Four Alpha Males deal with women, golf and jobs"
Sounds like an interesting idea, but from the craptastic previews its basically "Desperate HouseMen." And y'know what, that could have very well been the pitch made to the ABC executive. Attempting to soak up viewers by being slotted after Greys Anatomy, this is a show about guys that is neutered and geared towards woman....
I will not be TIVOing this. No guy will be watching this, because guys aren't like this, I am predicting cancellation.

Dirty Sexy Money (ABC) Wednesday-10PM
Snobby rich family is supposed to be like mix between The Kennedys and the Hiltons. The previews of this show, illustrate the trials and tribulations of the wealthy socialite. I dont know about you but I hate Paris Hilton and the superficial problems of the rich don't interest me--fiction or non-ficiton. I think this show gets cancelled right-quick. And if it doesnt, they can move it to Mondays and use a tagline like...."Looks like Mondays just got a little Dirtier....and Sexier....and theres also Money"

K-Ville (FOX) Monday 9 PM



A few years ago FOX made a show called "Fastlane" which starred Bill Bellamy and Mike Dexter, the bully, from "Cant Hardly Wait" as WhiteCop/BlackCop team straight from the movie "Bad Boys." Apparently FOX thought Anthony Anderson and Cole Hauser (who??) could pull off what Bellamy couldnt. Anthony Anderson confuses the fuck out of me. Sometimes he's charming and kinda funny, and you'll see him in a badass movie like "The Departed" or "Transformers" and be like "Wow. Its Anthony Anderson. Good for him." And then he'll be in something like "Kangaroo Jack" or "Scary Movie 4" and you'll be like "yeah...thats about right...." Either way, he's never really brought much to the table, and I dont know why he keeps getting steady work....I feel like he's trying to be like Bernie Mac, but he's just not as cool or funny. And, in K-Ville, thats pretty much the concept. And Cole Hauser's there too.